The Bookmonger Society

Full Episode 3
===

[00:00:00] Leah. Yes. Welcome to episode three. We are on a little love seat because this is the love section. I was totally right. Draco and Hermione fall in love. I didn't know how it was gonna happen. I didn't really believe that I would like it, but I did. I loved it. And I was also right. He was a spy the whole time.

But do you know. Why he was a spy.

Okay. No, I didn't know why he was a spy, but I did kind of fumble fuck my way into it because do you remember in the first episode when I was like, I need a previously on Harry Potter, because who the fuck is Lucius's wife? And why is he so mad she died? So I like kind.

You were in the vicinity.

I was in the vicinity, yes. Let's get into it.

Let's do it. Okay.

Um, bookmarked is our first segment and here's where we're at. We are in act two. It's all about the flashbacks, okay? And Leah is my warning person. [00:01:00] Same

warning is episode one and two, there is adult content in this episode, because this is an adult, there's the most

adult content in this one.

Nah, nah, nah.

Yeah. So there is going to be gore, there is going to be sex, there is going to be language. So if you have any listening ears around you, please be aware.

And I'm gonna be crass. Sometimes. So get ready. This episode is gonna be kind of different. I, we don't have as much planned to do recaps and whatnot in this episode.

So if you are looking for this podcast to tell you what happens in this book, I don't know that this episode is gonna do that quite for you, but, you know, it should be entertaining. And, uh, there is some recap.

Yes, we will have a little bit of recap, but there is so much to unpack in this episode. If we had a whole section dedicated to recap, we just wouldn't get to get.

We wouldn't be able to get to the juicy bits.

Yeah. So, uh, we are gonna recap a little bit here. Draco has, as I mentioned, agreed to be [00:02:00] a spy for the order. Mm-hmm. As long as he quote gets Hermione before and after the war, and she has to swear herself to him. And so the entire act is basically about how these two navigate the end of the war, their relationship with each other, and Harmione's attempt to gain control.

Well, yeah. She's over

Draco,

essentially his handler

Yes. Throughout

this whole

section.

Yeah.

Yeah. And Draco's attempts to remain distant and aloof from Hermione.

Yes. So through this whole section, they are both using each other in different ways. Yeah. And how ultimately they can't continue to use each other, each other anymore.

Okay. Uh, before we jump in, quick question. Who do you more relate to Draco or Hermione?

Let's be honest. I'm not like either germ or Draco. I'm probably a Ginny or something. I would say [00:03:00] when I am in a, like highly stressed or trauma induced state, I am more cold. So in that way I would say I'm more like Draco.

All right. How would, no, you have to answer the same question. Who do you relate to

more? Oh, Draco. A hundred percent. Yeah. I, I've never cried as much as Hermione in a day in my life. I don't think, um, I am not a crier. I am not a feeler. I am, I actually think I might be a natural Aman.

Okay.

I have, I'm very good at compartmentalizing my brain off.

Yeah. And pretending like, oh, that whole fucking thing didn't exist.

That is a skill I wish that I had. I will say I do. Okay. So in the way that Hermione kind of like rabbit holes into her research, I do that a bit. Okay. It's a little bit of, I dunno, a DHD tendencies. Yeah. To hyper fixate on things that I'm curious about.

So I do resonate with that.

That, that you are, yeah. Everything Draco does. I'm like, p. Bitch me too. [00:04:00] Margins. These are what we were writing in the margins. And we're two thirds of the way through. Yeah. More than that. It's like page almost 800 of a thousand. So in terms of the book itself, we are four fifths of the way through about, but we have a whole last act.

But I felt like now you could contribute more 'cause you don't, we were not worried about you spoiling everything for me.

Yes. And this is the biggest section of the book, so the most happens here. So we have so much more to unpack than we did the first couple episodes. Yeah. I kind of wanna kick this off by talking about some of the contrasts in some of the parallels that we see throughout.

There is no general order to these things. Okay. But first off, can we just talk about how Draco is manacled to the resistance and she actually uses the word manacled. Yes. Nice. Tieback. Um, to the resistance and to Voldemort the same way that Hermione was manacled to, you know, Draco.

Yeah. First

and last act.

Draco's. Kind of the [00:05:00] original Manacled.

Right?

Because he also is manacled to the dark Lord.

Yeah.

Right. He's got, is it a tattoo? The mark?

Not exactly a tattoo. It so it is magically enhanced. So it tells the dark Lord like where he is. Yeah. Whoever needs to find him, if they ever try to, um, he can summon him with it.

If he ever tries to get the mark off, he will bleed out and die.

Yeah. And he can't kill. Voldemort is the other component of the dark. Yes.

Of the mark. It prevents him the dark mark. Yeah. Prevents him from killing Voldemort.

Yeah. So the motherfucker's got chains right bottom line, like this guy is chained every which way.

And this is not a parallel or contrast, but I thought it was such a great detail that she pulled in, that he becomes ambidextrous knowing that he wants to get rid of his manacles, of his dark mark. That he actually works to become. Ambidextrous and be able to use both exams.

Yeah. We're alike in that way too.

Really.

Did you know I'm

[00:06:00] ambidextrous. I didn't know this. Mm-hmm. My

husband is ambidextrous. Oh my gosh. Yeah. We should have an ambidextrous off.

Okay. So, uh, your next point, another parallel.

Yeah. So, or contrast. My next one is Draco loves harmione's wild curly hair.

Um, I love that about him.

And on the contrary, Ron only likes Harmione's hair when it's like tamed and pulled back in a nice braid. And I just feel like that's such a metaphor for their whole relationship.

Yeah.

The resistance in general just likes Hermione when she's more docile and tamed. That is not the case with Drago.

Yeah. Loves are wild.

I wanna talk about too, this idea of. The way sacrifice is used in this section. So, 'cause both Hermione and Draco are innocent sacrificing themselves, they both don't feel like they're going to get out of this alive.

Right. So all of their actions throughout this whole [00:07:00] section are, how can I benefit the people I leave behind the most? Mm-hmm. Before I go out. Right? Yeah. But they're doing it in almost opposite ways, right? So her Mindy is trying to distance herself from as many people as possible so that ultimately when she dies, she will create the least amount of impact to the people in the resistance, right?

Yeah.

She's gonna make the hard choices, she's gonna do the hard things and is slowly distancing herself so that they don't have to carry the weight. She does.

Mm-hmm.

And then on the flip side, draco's doing the opposite. He is climbing the ranks as quickly as possible, trying to make as deep connections as possible so that ultimately when he dies, his death will create a power vacuum that will completely disrupt.

The, the dark Lord and his forces. So I just love that contrast between how they're both preparing for their ultimate death and how it'll impact people around them in completely opposite ways.

Yeah. This, to me, and you have a point about this [00:08:00] later too, but this is very, I would say, stereotypical man, woman reaction to this.

Sure. Yeah. Right. A woman is going to try to make her death as comfortable for everyone else mm-hmm. As possible, as opposed to a dude who's like, if I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take as many motherfuckers with me as possible. It just feels very like, like, I mean, it's, there's nothing necessarily wrong with it.

I think a lot about gender dynamics and how to challenge people to think about them more deeply. Like, I have a military leader in my book named Richter, but she's a woman. Mm-hmm. Because, and like people call her Rick, and I want people to forget that she's a woman. Yeah. As they're calling her Rick, because it's such a, obviously ma, mostly masculine name.

Mm-hmm. But it's like, no, she's badass. Mm-hmm. And she's got boobs and a vagina, and there's nothing that keeps her from being a strategic [00:09:00] military mastermind. Why would there be?

I love that. Okay. We should have a whole episode just like unpacking your book. So future episode, it's kind of Sure. Okay.

But I do, I mean obviously it's a, I mean, this is just smart.

It's a great. Contrast and how they deal with this is dope.

And I hope that in certain ways people feel seen when they read this, and I'm gonna dive more into this later, but there, yes, there are certain stereotypes in here, but I hope that people see themselves in bits and pieces of it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. We're, we're gonna get into that in a second. We have, we have Instagram suggestions for Hermione,

but, okay. What's your, your fourth point here. Okay. So my fourth point kind of leaning into what we were just talking about Yeah. Is that Hermione feels responsible for everyone around her. Yeah. For all of her friends, for all of her family who she will never see again for the entire resistance, feels personally responsible for taking care of them.

Right. And cares about them deeply, whereas Draco. Again is the opposite. Like he is trying to care for as few people as possible. So since his mother's death, he has [00:10:00] completely removed himself from Yeah. Any sort of feeling for any other human until ion.

Yeah.

So again, this is how they're dealing with the trauma of their situation from a similar source, but in completely opposite risk.

Yeah. And I also think the other thing that I just couldn't stop thinking about what a fucking groomer Voldemort is with this move to take Draco's mom, torture her, imprison her, and basically say You have to kill Dumbledore Dumbledore in order to save your mother. And just how young he is when he's making this decision to commit the rest of his presumed life.

Mm-hmm.

To service to what is the worst creature in his mind that tortured his mother. To a point of breaking before she even actually died. And that Hermione is now facing a very similar decision of committing [00:11:00] her life to a cause that she at least got to choose. Yes. And she is an adult. And you know, I said in episode two that I was gonna be shocked how she made me like Draco, but it really did it.

It really did it. I was like

this

poor

guy. Oh. I mean, it's the catalyst for his whole life and his whole relationship with Hermione.

Yeah.

The fact that he was put in that position where, yes, you have to dedicate your whole life to the thing that you hate the most, or we're gonna kill the person you love the most.

Like those are your choices, which is again, let's talk about the handmade program. Similar program. So you have the option to either rape the woman that you love or watch her be. Tortured and executed

or, or let your father rape her or

let your father rape her. Rape her. Oh God. So, yeah. I, I think that's the worst [00:12:00] option.

No. Oh God, it's so, all, it's so awful. The whole thing is so just, it just makes you sick to your stomach. And that's why this story is so powerful. And so, yes. It's also kind of a mind fuck. And I only talked about this in the, in the last episode, so I, I won't unpack this, but how you get to a point where you almost feel worse for the rapist than you do for the person being raped.

Like how do you get to that point? And yet here we are.

Yeah. I, I agree. Uh, you're, I'm, like I said, I'm excited that you have some points. You have a second point.

Oh, I do have a second point. Okay. Oh, okay. There is a scene that will not let me go after the. Hmm. After the battle where Harry takes Hermione with him to save Ron.

Right. Because Ron is the priority.

Totally.

Totally.

Let's risk our best healer to save my best friend.

Right? Exactly.

Hermione is supposed to

be your best friend, but is [00:13:00] obviously never treated like the best friend. So after this, it all obviously all goes horribly wrong.

It's an ambush. She knows it's an ambush. She goes anyway because she feels like she has to take care of everybody. It obviously all goes to shit, and Draco shows up and saves all their asses, right? Kills off all of the death eaters, pulls the resistance out so that they thank God ultimately survive. He pulls Hermione out, brings her to their, what do they call it, white craft, is that the.

Shack Cottage. Yes. You know what I'm

talking about? I just call it the shack. The the shack. But you could call it white craft if you must it be canon specific.

Yeah. So they get there and he basically tells her, actually I just have the quote here, so I'm just gonna say it. He says to her.

You are not expendable.

You don't get to push everyone away so that they'll feel comfortable with using you and letting you die. You are not replaceable and you are not required to make your death [00:14:00] convenient.

I could not get over it. It stuck with me. I mean, it's still stuck. It just like carved itself into my rib cage right there. And it will hence force stay there. So not only is this scene just narratively exquisite, I think it's also a reflection of a lot of people's experiences. I'll beit a less on a less dramatic scale, but like, let me explain.

I think a lot of people, particularly women, yeah. Um, in an effort to be good, in an effort to be, you know, nurturing, helpful, compliant, compliant, palatable, what have you, they make the death of their joy, of their curiosity, of their, um, of their creativity, their peace, the yeah, the death of the things that they love most is palatable for other people as possible.

So it doesn't impact the people that they love the most. So in an effort to take care of the people around them, they stop caring for themselves and not just their bodies, but their souls and [00:15:00] what lights them up and makes them feel alive. And here we have Draco fighting for her in this way. So just a shout out to all the people who are fighting for their partner's, joy and their wellbeing.

We see you. We love you, Jared. I love you. And I hope that they feel seen. While reading this excerpt,

do you know that men who are married live like five years longer than men who are not,

It's fascinating. It's so, because we rock, really, we are the foundation that men build their success on and it crushes us. So let's talk about good versus evil.

Oh man. Evil. This was so good. So similar to when we talked about hope in a previous episode. Good and evil is. Looked at and treated very differently by different characters.

So on the resistance side, so Harry, Ron, all those folks believe [00:16:00] that as long as they just continue to do the right thing and they use good magic and don't use the dark magic, right, that they're just going to win and everything will work out. And if you give into evil, then you're the worst and you suck.

And her mind is like, the math doesn't math. Like I am the one in the hospital taking care of all of the people who come back completely ruined. Yeah. And if you continue to only stun the people who are trying to kill you, eventually they will win. So in the, in the battle where Draco shows up, right?

Mm-hmm. She uses dark magic in. That specific scene. And to kill a werewolf, to kill a werewolf who was about to kill Ron,

there was no other about to rip Ron's motherfucking throat out.

Right. Let's, let's be as specific as possible.

Like this werewolf wasn't just biting on his leg. Okay. He was on his neck ready to rip his throat out.

This is a dire situation that they did not have the manpower to stun the werewolf, which I [00:17:00] also, I do like her detail. Yes. Because even somebody who I don't really understand everything that's going on, I'm like, that makes sense. I like the detail of like, you'd probably need like 12 wizards there.

Stunning this thing a bunch in order to kill it, because it really just makes Harry's argument such fucking nonsense.

Yeah. And so when they get back afterwards at that. Point Harry is like reaming her for using dark magic to save his best friend who he was willing to sacrifice to save. Anyway,

it's really good writing.

It was Phenomen because you turn phenomenal. You turn Harry Potter, who is beloved.

Yes, absolutely.

Into a real dickhead that makes you go like, fuck you Potter. You know? So I do have one slightly tangential thought here. I don't really get where the adults are. Like I know that all of the kids from Harry Potter are now technically adults.

Mm-hmm. In their twenties. But where is the seasoned, [00:18:00] grizzled war strategist that's gonna sit down and be like, guys, literally this is impossible. We cannot stun and imprison everyone on the other side. It literally is not a plan.

Yeah. Once you called it out, I couldn't not see it. I couldn't, I didn't even think about it as I was reading it.

But is so now that you say it. There is the kids that were in originally in like Harry and her Mindy's class. Right, right. Their whole year and then maybe a couple years below them and then there's like moody and shackle bolt, like where is everyone else? Yeah. I was like, between there. Yeah. Where is the

actual war strategy?

'cause it's, it's sort of alluded to that somebody's a strategist and even Ron has said that he's a good strategist. And I was like, yeah, but there's not a lot of strategy just in, in general, so where is it? Yeah. Like I don't know what your actual plan is. I don't even know how they hung on for six, seven years, whatever it is.

Like that makes no sense to me. I mean, but you need, [00:19:00] you need the war to be something to play off of as like a device. Mm-hmm. So I think it's fine and it's not her main. Point really, you, you start by knowing that they lose the war. Right. So to some extent, you know, if, if it got into more detail, it also is like, but you know that they're gonna lose who really cares.

Right. You don't need to get too into the weeds. 'cause you know how it ends. Yeah. But she actually released today a, I don't know, it's like a newsletter, an article. I don't know, um, about a lot of the books that she read that inspired her while writing Alchemized.

Mm-hmm.

And one of the books that she called out was really from a woman's perspective of war.

Okay. And this is gonna become a, you know, a major theme throughout here and how women are treated in the war. And yes, we can spend a whole episode unpacking that, but most of the books and films and literature of the time are very male oriented. Mm-hmm. And very, um, like glory and honor and all of these types of themes where she really wanted to focus on the ugly [00:20:00] aspects of the war and how.

When you kind of unpack it, it feels ultimately insane.

Yeah. That's sort of a heavy topic and we've been talking about a lot of heavy topics and I think if you know anything about this book, you know that Act two is where Hermione and Draco fall in love and they get it on. So I feel like it's time for sexy time.

Let's do it. Can we do sexy time? Okay. Your best. Um, and so first of all, the sexual tension as they're figuring out that they're attracted to each other is just chef's kiss. It's so painful, it takes so long. It's the best kind of pain that there is with sexual tension.

Well, I mean, they're both to our earlier point using each other, right?

Yeah. She knows that she's just a tool to him.

Yeah.

And he knows that she's going to try to manipulate him, right? And ultimately betray him. Yeah. So they both know that this whole situation is fucked from the beginning, and [00:21:00] yet, yes, there is this. Yeah. This natural tension between them, and I think that's why people like the germ dynamic so much is because they really shouldn't be together.

Yeah. In any, like, they shouldn't, they don't, except they're hot and

young and like, fuck it, okay, go fuck each other. But they're

like perfect for each other. Yeah. So anyways, yes, go ahead. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Okay. So then Draco gets runes how you pronounce them runes. Yes. Runes. He, he basically gets carved up by Voldemort because he fucks up and voldemort's like never again.

I'm gonna make you stronger by using all of this blood magic and carving these symbols into your back.

Well, it was because he gave the, when he gave the information to the resistance and they like used it all at one time. Knowing that he was gonna take the fall for it. So he knew he was gonna die at this point.

And then he shows up, continue with the rooms.

Yeah. So he shows up and Hermione starts treating him. Yeah. Healing him. And on the last heel she, it finally, the dark magic is out of him enough that [00:22:00] she can close up and stitch him up. And she does it, but it's like extremely painful. And so she suggests that he gets drunk, which is a little bit odd because I feel like, again, their magic and they can solution for this in any myriad of ways, but

getting drunk is the funnest.

Totally.

Totally. Uh, and he even says like, I'm not getting drunk around you, Granger. Oh, I love when he calls her Granger. Ugh, anyways. And, but he does it anyways. He downs like two bottles of fire whiskey or whatever they call it on here. And then they do this drunken make out. And it is, it's so hot. It's so good.

Oh, it's good. And then she starts feeling the feelings and cries because she's her mind and she feels too much and she's thinking about all of the things instead of just enjoying this hot man that's, uh, that she's straddling. And he is like, no, get off of me. Because his big thing is like, he's not gonna do anything unless she wants.[00:23:00]

Him. Right. And so she, he's like, get off of me. And then he doesn't see her for like a month, and then they get back together and Rahada, rahada, rahada, they have sex on the floor. Now, here is the thing about the sex on the floor. I'm gonna just, it, it's, it's fine. I, it's not, it's not my favorite sex scene I've ever read in my life.

If I'm being totally honest. I think the makeout was like probably the hottest thing that happens in my opinion. Sure. However, I do have a bone to pick with sex scenes in books, including this one. I have two major pet peeves. One is when a Virgin bleeds.

Mm-hmm.

The first time she has sex. Because here's a little biology lesson for you.

I actually don't know why people still think all women are born with hymens and that you are going to bleed the first time you have sex. That is not. Accurate. Not everyone has a hymen. And second of all, hymens often stretch over time when you are, you know, doing shit. Like if you are into sports, if you ride horseback, if you've ever masturbated, if you or you're a tampon, use a tampon on a regular [00:24:00] basis.

Yeah. Like this belief that all women have a hymen that only a dick can like magically penetrate and then you're gonna bleed. And it's like this amazing transformation of you as a woman. I just hate that trope because one, it's not. True. And two, I, I actually like for Hermione again, like my girl, you are like mid twenties if you have never masturbated, like come the fuck on.

Like dudes masturbate before they even turn 13 most of the time. And like women, there's just this bullshit double standard that were not supposed to have any fucking fun by ourselves until some man comes and explains to us how our bodies work. I fucking hate it. Obviously, I'm a little bit passionate about it.

Here's the second thing I don't like when. People orgasm from vaginal only sex because it is very rare. Yeah. For most women to orgasm just through vaginal intercourse. And so I do like that Draco knows what the fuck he's doing. Put a [00:25:00] little finger down there and, uh, worked on our magic button. Okay. And the only thing that I would've liked is if there was some, maybe like finger vi vibrato, maybe like a spell, like a little, like a little spell.

To give it a little bit of, would've been fun for me personally. But I have a very active, creative mind. So that's just what I would say about the sex thoughts.

I, I am so glad that you brought up the Hyman point because I, that is also one of my pet peeves. With sex scenes. Yeah. Oh my gosh, yes. They, we agree on something.

This is great. Look at us. Um, so yes, the like blood on the sheets on the floor or whatever. Yeah. After the first time, it's like, come on. Okay. So yes, I agreed with that point, but I, as a literary tool in this scene, you do get agreed draco's reaction. Like, oh shit, I didn't know. I assumed [00:26:00] Yeah. That. And she's like, no, they assume that that's how you would want me.

Yeah. So I, I recognize it, its purpose and its impact in that scene. But yes, overall I do not like that trope.

Yeah. I, uh, I agree with the storytelling device and I like see it for what it is. Yeah. I just also, what, who is the main market for this? Like the age group, would you say? For this book? Yeah. Um, US What are you, you're in your like mid thirties, right?

Yeah, 35. Okay. Um, and I'm 40, so, so yeah. Yeah. Like

30 to

40 millennials. Older millennials into millennial millennials. Okay. And I think

that millennials read this more than maybe other generations is because we are like the Harry Potter generation.

Yeah, that makes sense. So, okay.

You know.

Um, alright. Whew.

That was, that was great. Okay, so point number six. Um, what parts of us are core versus flexible? That's my question. So there is a scene where Hermione is sitting at a window and tracing aroon, which is something she does really early on [00:27:00] when she gets over to Draco's manner and she like when she doesn't remember anything and she does the same exact thing.

And I just thought that was a. Beautiful moment of this is just who she is as she's thinking. And I really, you made this point, I think in our first episode about this whole idea of wiping her memory is kind of an amnesia, trope. Yes. A little bit. Maybe a lot of, bit, maybe All a bit. Yeah. Uh, but I do think that, that I encourages the reader to think the same question for ourselves.

How much of us. Is core to us Yeah. That we would do in a situation of high trauma. Mm-hmm. Where we've blocked things out. Not in this magical way that Hermione does, but I just think it's, I don't really have much more than to say that these things that remain are interesting to think about. Or, I was thinking too about Draco's smell.

Mm-hmm. Right? Like there's that moment where she attributes her attraction to Draco when she can't remember [00:28:00] anything to Stockholm Syndrome. And I just wondered how much of that is just the smell of him and your body and your whole soul kind of remembering how comforting that was. And you don't know where it's coming from, but it feels comforting to you.

Yeah. And you are into him in that moment. I, I don't know. It was, it was cool.

Yeah. I, she brought in a lot of really intentional. Callbacks. Yeah. To who she was before she locked her memories away.

My next point is, um, I have this post-it note at home that says, if by appreciated, you mean I do everything and no one fucking notices, then yes, I feel appreciated.

I think that's how Hermione should feel all of the time, all of the, because she never gets her credit and she even says, I'm not doing this for credit. I don't expect a medal. And in fact, some of what she's doing, if the Order of the Phoenix even ends up winning, she could be tried in [00:29:00] court for using dark magic.

Yes. And some of the things that she's co-signed in terms of torturing death eaters and all of these things. So it's very specific that she doesn't expect to be thanked. But still, I mean, yeah, she's

taking the fall for so many people. And she even said, go ahead.

No, I was just gonna say that as a reader.

It doesn't take away from the fury. Oh, man. That we get to feel on her behalf. Oh man. Which is just, it's so fun. Okay, so there's this scene with Angelina and Angelina. Angelina seems like a real fucking uppity bitch. Okay. So she is, she is fucking lecturing Hermione about how bad, bad magic is. And I mean, do you know what's gonna happen to you after the war?

And her's like, yep, sure do. It's kind of like my job to know all of this stuff. So Yeah, I do. And she literally says. [00:30:00] That's how Hope works. Hermione. It just takes a spark. Actually, I added a few Obnoxiousness in there, but like she's, no, it was,

it was exactly like that. She's like, we're winning and Hermione is like the fuck we are.

Yeah. I was like seething. I was raging during that scene, which is the sign of great writing. Right? Because I was just hundred percent losing my

mind.

Yeah. During that scene.

And then Tonk Port Tonk, right? Tonk, TKs, TKs. Toks with an S. So Tonks, um, tonks is like the first person in the order to be like, Hey, I.

Girl, it looks like you've been working out or like practicing your, your fucking moves. You look like you really, someone's been teaching you how to survive on a battlefield. I'm really impressed what's going on. And her mind is like, Ooh, don't ask, uh, because the answer is Draco's the only one who gives a fuck about her and has been teaching her shit.

And so then I was like, alright, TKs like my girl. And [00:31:00] then they wipe her fucking memory and she dies. And I was like, well, no, I'm sad for you. TKs

is. A very underrated character. I loved her. And I also love that she called out the line is something like, who do you have in your back pocket with that much firepower?

Yes. Mm-hmm. Like she unpacked the whole thing, like with very few details. And the reason I loved it too is because that's kind of how we feel as readers, but that's not how Hermione would have ever described Draco. Like Draco's not in her back pocket. We're like, yes, he's Yeah.

You got him. Girl. My last thought here is, so she gets a ring from Draco and that's how he summons her.

Yeah. And then she has a protein. Is that how you protean Protean? Protean bracelet from the order to also summon her. And I just thought about that guy who had that viral video about Britney Spears, where he goes, leave Britney alone. That's how I felt for my girl Hermione. I was like, leave her alone. Okay, everybody stop summoning my [00:32:00] Hermione.

She needs to take some time to herself. She needs to go to a fucking beach and a spa and like just leave her the fuck alone for a hot

goddamn second. Right. Solve your own problems. Give her a little r and r back off. Yes.

Although she would never take it, she

would never take it. 'cause she even said she has this line or something along the lines of like, if it takes me using dark magic and losing my soul to save all of the people who will be ultimately impacted by this war of my family.

Yeah. My, you know, friends, my cousins back at home. Like that's not a sacrifice, that's a bargain. Yeah. And that's how she actually feels. And you as a reader are like, but no,

moving on. Let's talk about the writer's desk. You asked me what do I think about the story structure, the non-linear story structure?

Yeah. I

want your thoughts on how you feel like,

was it effective? Did you like it? Did it not work? What do you think about it? Well, you are talking to someone whose first book literally is told backwards. Yes, it is the diary of a woman who's dying in 60 days, and I start on day 60. So [00:33:00] I love a non-linear story.

I think it opens up really unique, fun, interesting ways to consume the narrative. So generally I would say I'm for it. I do think there are both. Places where it's really effective, and then places where the critiquer of me would say that it could have been pushed a little bit further. For example, knowing that Harry is going to die right at the front, does make some of the last chapters in this act a little bit less, the stakes don't feel very high.

Yeah. Because you already know he is going to die. So some of the things that he says, so he's very downtrodden at the end here, and he says he's going to die. If you didn't know he was going to die, you would. You would feel totally different when her mind is like, no, you're not. You'd be as a reader, like, no, you're not.

You're going to be fine. I don't know how you make that more interesting, to be honest. Even then, when she is gonna use Ginny's pregnancy to get him to stay, that's another [00:34:00] moment where I think as a reader, you would've been like, oh, that's it. Like, that's the Trump card. That's gonna make him not do it.

But you know that he's, it's not even gonna be a question. So you're like, well, okay, that's not gonna work. You know? Like I found myself just being like, well, whatever. You know? I see that

point. But to the same point, when you think about Hermione scene where she is bringing down the hospital and you know she's gonna get captured.

Yeah. 'cause that's where she ends up. You know? She's gonna end up there. That doesn't make that scene any less impactful in my book.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I, I have, I have the exact opposite opinion. Like I very specifically that last scene in the Shack where it's her and Draco and they've brought. Snape. Mm-hmm. In to Why did they bring him in?

They bring him in? Well, because he had to,

um

Oh. Because Hermione needs somebody in the resistance to continue looking for the hor crux. And she wants to [00:35:00] tell him that she's going away with Ginny. And so he's basically him and Draco. This is like your job now.

Oh,

okay. Okay. I think that's what the, I think that was how it worked.

And so anyways, so it's Draco and Hermione and Snape, and then an unconscious ginny, and we know as a reader that this is the last time they're gonna see each other. For 16 months, we know this is goodbye. And I didn't feel the knife in my fucking heart like I wanted to in that scene. It was very clinical in my opinion.

Like she's just really trying to get him out of the shack so that she can go blow up the thing and make her bombs. And I just was like, this should hurt more than it does.

And I had the opposite opinion. Yeah. Because I thought she has to keep it casual. Like she can't have some like heartfelt goodbye.

She can't in her brain

with him. I mean she can't in her brain. We're in

her brain.

Yes. But that it comes when she actually is battling six switches and seven werewolves and like eight Dementors or whatever. However [00:36:00] many, yeah. Like the odds were unrealistic. But she's fighting so hard to get back to him and thinking like, oh, this is gonna be it.

And that was the heartbreaking moment for me. 'cause she couldn't tip off Draco then.

Yeah.

So, yes, to your point, like there wasn't like this heartfelt goodbye there couldn't be. But that was the moment that got me when she was in the middle of the battle with Montague and like 1800 other beings.

Yeah. Uh, it didn't work for me.

The other point that just kind of fell flat is all of the weasley is dying. You know, that she's in her cage and like watching it all happen at the last flat. I'm like, I mean, you said

that felt flat all, yeah, I don't care at all. It was awful.

I don't care at all. Like, we already know that they died and they got tortured in front of her and it kind of, I, I was like, all right, got it.

All right. Well I disagree, but that's fine.

Yeah. I wanna solve the mystery.

Sure. Do you know what I mean? Like, and for you, the mystery was already solved,

so, right. So I'm like, [00:37:00] okay, I'm done. Your question

was answered and carry on. Yeah. You and I are very different readers, but that's fine. Yeah.

But you know what?

Okay, listen, that's the brilliant thing about reading. You have your own interpretation.

Okay. So our next part is, I kind of wanna unpack. The genre of this book. So it is technically a romance, but it doesn't do a lot of the things that I would say a typical romance does. Yeah. Would you agree?

I would agree.

At the very beginning of Act two, the whole premise that they position to Hermione, that Dra Draco starts is basically, I want Hermione, I don't know if it's Moody or the other guy that says to her, he has some obsession with you from high school. And I was like, if this is a, like Hermione ISS chosen because she's chosen like Bella from Twilight, where it's like, why is everyone infatuated with, right.

Who is arguably just a random, not that great of a girl. Oh, she's just Cho, she's just amazing. The chosen one. Yes. She's just perfect. [00:38:00] And I do to some extent, I was in my mind rationalizing. I was like, I hate that in my head. And then I was rationalizing, well this is very Harry Potter of it, right? 'cause Harry, Harry Potter is the chosen, he is got his little scar and that is kind of what.

This story does. So I was like, fine. But then, but then, then it turns out that Draco's decision is extremely practical. He chooses Hermione because she is the least likely to die, and therefore he doesn't have to start over again with someone new. Right. He's

the only person that he knows of. And the resistance, who is a healer and not a fighter, because obviously he doesn't know like everyone who they have back there, but he's, he did hear, oh, her Mindy's alive and she's a healer.

She's not gonna be out fighting. Right. If I get one of the, you know, militia, then I'm gonna be rotating through people every week.

I'm gonna have to meet some newish.

And the reason he even like demanded he have a person is because he didn't think that the vengeance of his mother would be believed.

Mm-hmm. [00:39:00]

Right. Because it's been a couple years, so they're like, too much time has passed. He's like, I didn't know that there was a timeline on grief, but apparently it is. He's over it. Yep. Um, and so he's like, I have to. Find other ways to make it feel like, you know, my motivation is valid. Yeah. And so, you know, claiming Hermione both before and after the war, he is like, that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever said.

But they bought it, made his decision feel so much more impactful.

Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And speaking of Draco and my love affair with him, I love this man's dialogue. If you are not a writer, dialogue is so fucking hard to do, just period, but also hard to do in a non cliche way. Mm-hmm. And in a way that really allows a reader to fill in all of the gaps and for the character to just really come off the page.

Mm-hmm. And his dialogue is so fucking good. My favorite [00:40:00] line is Hermione, is he, she's a little weirdo. We love her, but she's a little weirdo and so she gets all nervous around Christmas and gives. All of her friends basically potions to take out onto the battlefield. With her. With them. And she does the same thing with Draco.

And she's explaining to Draco what every single one of her little potions is at Christmas and giving him this big long lecture. And then at one point they're in the shack and he exposes that he's got basically a whole lab under the floorboards and Hermione iss extremely impressed. She's like this, this is basically a healing inventory.

How, like, how did you know to get all of this stuff? And he says, I got a long lecture on healing common battle injuries as a Christmas present last year. And I just, I'm like, I fucking loved him. Right? Like I, his vibe is very fucking cool. His dialogue is spot on every time. Senline is very good at di. Are we supposed to say her whole name all the time?[00:41:00]

Senline you.

I wish I knew. I dunno. Oh, okay. We don't

know. I'm sorry. Um, sling you, uh, is very good at dialogue generally. Hermione is a really strong voice as well, but nothing co compares to Draco for me. He's good.

Yeah. His, his dialogue is on point, but overall, I, I'm, yeah. Very impressed with her skills in writing dialogue.

'cause writing dialogue is so hard. It's so hard. It sucks. And even the characters that I don't like in the story still have believable dialogue. Yeah. Yeah. So really well done.

Yeah.

Uh, and then I actually, before we, I actually am really hoping that in Alchemize. We get a chapter from Draco's perspective.

Yeah. 'cause we don't, we, you know, and not that I, I would not want like a whole book from his perspective.

Yeah.

But I do hope we get like a chapter or two from his, his little

inter chapter.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give us a little inter um, okay. So, uh, couple of main points about Fanfic in general. This is my first Fanfic [00:42:00] read.

I don't know how she wrote this. It is a fucking miracle to me to be totally honest. Like, the idea of her sitting around in her notes app typing this all like I, and just releasing it and, 'cause I do a lot of Easter eggs, but I am three books in to my series. So I'll go back to book one and be like, okay, this is like now the way that this is gonna end up going.

And so I can give a little hint here and I can do this here. How did she do this? Releasing this one chapter after the next, it's genius level shit.

She must be like a master plotter, like. She can't be a panther. Like she has to be a plotter in order to layer everything in.

Yeah. Every time something new comes up, then I'm like, oh my God.

She seeded that in like chapter five. How did she do that? That's so impressive. That's incredible. And I just called her a genius. So I just wanna diatribe for a hot second. Elizabeth Gilbert, uh, the author of Eat, pray, love, fame, mostly [00:43:00] she has this TED Talk that I adore. And especially I think if you are a creative of any kind, an artist, a musician, an a writer, if you are a creative of any kind, you should go watch it.

For sure. Because it really takes the pressure off because she talks about how ancient Romans had this idea that genius was not something you are, you are not a genius, but genius is this entity kind of like a muse or fate, I don't know, like a, a thing that you can't control that is just kind of in the ether and you are, but a conduit.

To this story that wants to be told. And I wonder, I feel that way a lot when I write is like, I don't even know. I don't believe that my brain can come up with some of the stuff that comes out of me. And I will read stuff that I wrote a few months ago and be like, I don't remember that at fucking all.

And so I wonder if that's part of [00:44:00] this, like she has a little bit of genius coming to her from somewhere about how to write this.

Yeah. And so a couple of points that when I, I did read Elizabeth Gilbert's book, big Magic. Mm-hmm. And I loved it. It was great. And she has this point where she almost views ideas as like these, like, I don't wanna say like sentient beings, but almost like they, they have a desire to be brought into the world, right?

Mm. And so they're looking for creators or people to bring. Said ideas into the world. And so they'll, an idea will come, they'll hang out with you for a little while, and if you don't decide to actually bring the idea into the world, they're gonna fl off to somebody else and see if they will.

Yeah.

And so, I mean, thank fucking God that this idea found sending you, because otherwise we wouldn't have this.

Yeah. Um, my second point is that I do know that she is a prolific researcher. Mm. And so, [00:45:00] um, at least for Alchemized, I know that she had a heavy reading list that she went through just to like fill up her brain before she started to write. Yeah. So she's definitely someone who is going to Yeah. Do a bunch of research so she has enough, like, you know, sand to play with.

Yeah. To build her sand castles. Right. I

love it. Speaking of artists, the Fanfic art that is throughout this book, very additive. Loved it.

Phenomenal.

Yeah. It must be something for JK Rowling, and I know she's fallen out of favor with a lot of people, but it must be so incredible to create this thing that has created its own little mini worlds everywhere.

And that then for sending you to pick up one of those little worlds in this Dani fan fiction. Cluster and that that's so inspiring that she inspires people to create original artwork with these characters. Like that just has to be such [00:46:00] a cool fucking feeling as a writer at every juncture to create something that people get that lit up about.

Right. That inspired all of this. Yeah. Beautiful art. It's actually something that I do if I am debating like what book to start. Sometimes I'll just go look up the fan art first. Yeah. And so if a book has inspired a lot of wonderful fan art, I'm like, well, it's gotta be good.

Yeah. If

the art artist felt so passionately about it that they created this beautiful, you know, thing masterpiece.

Yeah. And yeah, it's gotta be good.

Okay, we're gonna move on to Canon. Who Dat. This is where Leah explains shit that I don't fucking understand because I didn't read the Harry Potter books. So the first is, why isn't Snape ever Legitimacy Seed? Why is it, why aren't they ever breaking into his brain?

I actually don't know if they don't ever break into his brain.

I mean, maybe they do. I know that he's an amines, like Kerin and Draco are.

Yeah.

Um, so he probably would have some, you know, evasive skills if they did.

Yeah.

Um, but because he's a [00:47:00] triple agent Agent, yeah.

So like

he has a lot of secrets. There's a lot of risk floating around in that brain.

Totally. Yeah. So I just, that's part of why I was like, so, but I guess to your point, if you are skilled enough, you can evade it.

Yes.

Is the concept. But why wouldn't you put the manacles on him?

Because, well, they don't put manacles on the order members. I'm, I'm If you're looking

for a spy, right? Like we know that there are spies, right? Like the dark Lord knows there are spies. Yes. So why wouldn't you just manacle everyone? He goes into their brain searches around in there and boom, finds the spy.

It's not a bad plan except for the fact that they wouldn't then ever be able to use their magic.

Can't you just take the manacles off? Uh oh.

So they, oh, okay. So you're saying they like put the manacles on? Yeah. Then dig through their brain. You know what, I would consider that a pothole. That would be perfectly reasonable.

Yep. Mark it down.

[00:48:00] I found one, not I'm, I'm sure there's a good reason not to. Um, I would also just say the ruins did confuse me. These, these carvings in Draco's back, I thought they were objects, so I was really confused how he had clothes on at first when I was reading through that passage. So am I just an idiot and didn't get this or are ruins in Harry Potter?

Can you make me feel better and tell me that they're in Harry Potter, so I don't feel stupid.

They are in Harry Potter. They're not a primary tool in the books, so they do exist and I don't think that they're ever carved into people. So they're like in text. Right. You know, that kind of thing. Well, it's a pretty

dark

Yeah.

Concept for a Harry Potter book, I would think. Right? Yeah. It's a

children's book. So we're not just Yeah. Car. Well, although umbridge, okay, we're not gonna diatribe on umbridge, but. She carves it to her students, we're not gonna talk about it. So, um, yes, ruins are a thing in Harry Potter. They're a thing in other fantasy books.

Some they have different, you know, powers or meanings in different worlds, but [00:49:00] okay. Yes.

Okay, so, uh, my next point is so the dark Lord is dying and his who crux are the only thing that kind of tethers him to this world as far as I understand it. And we find out that Harry is actually a living who Crux Hermione figures it out.

'cause she's brilliant. She's our girl, basically, obviously. And so when Harry dies, they think that there's one left. And I don't understand how they know how many are left. I don't know what's going on in my brain, but literally in my brain, I thought of the trivial suit pie. You know how you have to like get something right in the arts, and then you get your pink piece of pie and then you have to get something right in sports.

So then you get your orange piece of pie. I like saw Voldemort as like a trivial pursuit pie. And I was like, how many more pieces do we need? Like how do they know when they get them all?

It's a good question. So in the original books, Harry gets to watch someone else's memory of Tom Riddle, who eventually [00:50:00] becomes Voldemort, say basically how many hor cruxes he's going to create.

Okay.

So that's not unpacked in manifold, but that is the reason why they knew how many there were going to be except for Got it. Harry was the surprise. He was unintended. He didn't, right? Yeah. Was not supposed to be a horcrux. So you know, they thought there were seven, there were actually eight. And then, yeah.

Okay, so moving on. Wait, wait, wait, wait. What? No, no. We need, we need to talk about Harmione's. Patronus.

What is

that? You don't, okay. So a patronus is, it's like a animal that a wizard can produce and it can be used for multiple things. It can send messages, it sends away, it protects you from the dementors, but it is, what's important here is it is a reflection to some extent of who you are.

Okay.

As a person. Right. So, [00:51:00] for example, her min is an otter at the beginning.

Okay. I, I remember her not being able to produce one, like produce one. That is the only thing that I remember. Okay. About the otter, or, it's

difficult for her to produce one. Yeah.

Yeah.

Then at the end, why is hers an

otter, though?

What does that mean? Well, it's, you know, she's gonna hold hands with her lover butt as they float around and sleep.

I, I love OTs. I think originally is supposed to mean like, you know, otters are, you know. They're curious, they're playful, they're,

oh,

you know,

they're adorable.

They're adorable. And that is, you know, ultimately not who Hermione is by the end of the story.

Right. So in the final, her final battle there, at the end of the flashbacks, she produces a dragon patronus. Yeah. Which is very significant for a couple of reasons. One, it emphasizes her transformation as a person in all of the ways that she has become a fierce power to [00:52:00] be reckoned with. Yeah. Right. She has become just as deadly, just as, um, determined and vengeful really as a dragon.

Mm-hmm.

And two, draco's name literally means dragon. So it's also this like, almost like this love letter to her, deep love for Draco and essentially choosing him. So for an example, so there is a couple of instances in which someone's patronus would change. Oh, okay. So tox is one of them.

Oh,

I don't actually remember what her original one is.

So the diehards would have to

contribute. Contribute,

tell us who, what it originally was. But now her patronus is a wolf to represent Lupin who is her husband and is a werewolf.

Ah, okay. I missed all of that. I did not get any of that. I, I saw that she couldn't conjure her otter, and I was like, okay. [00:53:00] And then I saw that she conjured a dragon, but I, I guess I just didn't, I thought it was a different spell, maybe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my head I just didn't, I didn't realize it was like her spirit animal, which I don't think you're allowed to say anymore, but that's kinda what these things sound like. Um, it's not my fault. That's what they sound like. Okay. Um, and so, uh, yeah, I didn't get any of that. That's, that seems real important,

right?

Yeah. So, and also, so when Draco finds out later that she produced a dragon patronus Yeah. It was also probably heart wrenching for him to realize that that was almost like her last letter to him as she was fighting to get back to him.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, it's really good. I

know.

Okay. Um, well

we have to wrap this up.

Alright, so my last point for this section, I'm calling it the mommy issue section, but it's a little bit broader than that. But really I just feel it's worth [00:54:00] addressing that Hermione put it perfectly when she said we're kind of a fucked up pair. Mm-hmm. Right? So Draco's, possessiveness and harmione's desperate need to be wanted.

Yeah. Creates almost this, I mean, frankly, unhealthy codependence Sure. Happening Yeah. Happening here. But at the same time, like. As a reader, you're like, I'm not mad about it. Yeah. But like, you also recognize this is not a healthy relationship. Right. You would never look to their relationship and go, oh, they have it figured out.

Power couple over there. Right? Yeah, totally. But yeah, all the ways that both of them are just shaped by their past trauma, the way, you know, Draco, the way Draco's mom was tortured and then died and he felt so deeply responsible for her. Yeah. That he's like, I never want to love someone that much again.

'cause I don't wanna feel that crushing sense of responsibility that I felt for my mom. Yeah. And yet those are [00:55:00] his new manacles with, with Hermione.

Yeah. I, I hate to compare a love story between two actual human beings to a dog. However, I do feel like, okay, it, 'cause I, I do think in life there are very few of us that are going to experience this level of situation, of course.

But I do think. So we had a dog named Mary, who was the best dog that has ever lived. I will not take debates. She just was the best dog that has ever lived. It's not just because she was mine, it's just the way that I was. It's just facts. Okay. Yes. And my husband, after she passed away was like, I, I, I can't, like, I cannot have this huge hole in my heart again.

But we did, we got a little Stevie who's a little son of a bitch, and I think that's also, this is the, the way it goes. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, I, I couldn't possibly, but yes, you could. Yes, you could. You can love again, don't give

up. And which we'll be addressed in Act three, which we'll talk about then.

Okay. But I love, okay. There's this one [00:56:00] line that kind of sums up their relationship, which I really actually hope makes it into, into Alchemize. But it says it wasn't a romance between them, but a collision of two opposing forces.

Yeah.

And that's the way it felt between them through their whole story. And it, it was just perfect.

Yeah, just kiss. Let's switch gears. Totally. Let's do it. And talk about dark marks and darker thoughts. My first point is as I have a beef with most things in this book, it is your magic. Your magic. You have magic indeed. Where is the fucking magic sex? I want it. I need it. Oh, baby. Oh baby. I don't understand why they're just doing it missionary all the time.

It's like really fucking boring and like in hotel rooms. As opposed. Opposed

to

like Crips on the top of the Eiffel Tower. [00:57:00] At midnight when no one else can be there. Get in the, in the middle of, I don't know, like any place without security cameras. I don't know. Like anywhere you can go, anywhere, you can do anything.

You can conjure it to look like anything, feel like anything smell like it could be in the, on the top of a fucking tree. I don't know. Like anything. All the things you get to go do whatever you want and you're like, nice hotel room with some room service. Like, that's as imaginative as these wizards are getting.

I just was like, come on. Okay. But to be fair,

if they, okay, let's, let's just follow this thought, experiment to its end, right? Yeah. So if, let's say they did, right, these are two very, very private people, very secretive people, very, um, I would, no one's gonna see you. And plus you can just make a spell so that nobody can see you.

What do you, I mean, you can do whatever you want. I don't know. It just feels like, [00:58:00] yes, while some people would probably deeply want that in the story. At the same time, I feel like it would completely alter the vibe of the story, right? Like, yeah, if all of a sudden it would be a

lot more fun,

right? If all of a sudden they were using like all these crazy positions and Hermione was showing up with nipple clamps, it would just feel wildly out of place considering how inexperienced she is and how, honestly, like, I don't, I don't wanna say insecure, that doesn't feel like the right word, but this is all very new for her.

Yeah. I mean, okay. So I think there is a big, there's a lot in between anal beads, nipple clamps, and gags and missionary. There is like so much in between that, to me, three sex scenes, all of missionary. I was like, okay, I get it. Like, can we do something? Let, let gimme, gimme something new. So gimme a new feeling, a new something.

Like [00:59:00] there's the first time, which is, we've already talked about the bleeding on the floor thing. Then there's the first time she comes and then there's orgasms. I guess it's the more brewery thing and then there's a third time and that's it. That's all we get. All missionary, all like me. Okay. I get it. I, I don't think it makes sense for them to go hog wild, fucking 50 shades of gray on everything.

But I do, I would've liked a little judge, a little maybe, uh, levitation, I dunno, something, something more fun. A a little bit on the third one. I could have used a little judge. Okay. So is that something you're

looking for in Alchemize then?

I have no idea. Okay. I, I am looking for magic sex though, somewhere.

If you have any recommendations. Is this like, not something people do? Like I feel like, am I that deprived

or like deprived

is the right word. Like I, I immediately would be like, man, if we have sex in the magic world, like we're going to fucking do some shit. Let's mix it up. Yeah. [01:00:00] Yeah. You gravity doesn't even matter.

Come on, come on. Like, I don't know. So I would, I would've liked, you know, I hear you. I still think it wasn't appropriate for the story. I, so like, here's the other thing, right? Is that, so I would like to know when and where Draco crafted all of his sex. Because this motherfucker's busy. He's like in the muggle world reading every book possible.

Yeah. He's the best fighter. He's the best killer. He's the best at everything. And so now he's also obviously an amazing sex partner and I do think that if he's in the practice already of teaching her a thing or two, it just, I don't think it seems that outta character for it to just be a little, a little bit more

so.

Okay. Is your point [01:01:00] that

we don't know where he found the time? Yeah. One, I don't know how he found the time. Two, I would like to know what, what is the backstory here? I mean, I know you don't know, but I got, I

got no backstory. Yeah. That being said, there is this like. You know, why are, why are they good at this out the gate?

Right. And I, okay, so I, I do have a thought around this that in a coming of age story, it's normal for like, bad sex is normal. It's just part of the, the story. Yeah. It's coming of age. Yeah. That is not even for like virgins, that's not normal in like a romance story or a love story, right? Like, it's

just not read a lot of romance.

So I actually, um, really it's just like, oh my God, this is our first time and it's, it's amazing.

I, for the most part, yeah, not like everything went perfectly all the time, but yeah, it's like no one really wants to read like bad sex. But at the same time, I would [01:02:00] have appreciated this almost like, I dunno, maybe they stumbled at first or were offbeat and they had to find their rhythm together.

You know what I mean? Something like that, that would have felt. That would've felt right.

Yeah. Um, we're gonna turn down the heat on the sex talk by turning up the heat on why are men always so hot? So Hermione does the dark magic and she's freezing because that's what it does. Makes you cold. Yes.

Apparently. Yeah. And Draco has the heart of isis, and so he's all warm and cozy because she gave him the heart of isis. And so he's hot. And I just, so this is a, this is a, like, if you have ever slept in the same bed as a man, which I'm curious if your husband is the hottest person on the planet as well.

My husband is so hot, and I kept reading those scenes of how enjoyable she found it. And I was like, girlfriend, I'm the exact opposite. I like cannot get away from him. And, and we live in the desert. Yes. And it, I [01:03:00] was reading this in summer, so I also was just like, I. I like sweat profusely if my husband puts an arm on me and he's just, he's so big and so hot, and I just do not find it enjoyable, and I don't, I wanna know why are men so hot?

Well, would Jake say the same thing

about you?

No.

Really? No. Okay. No, because I, I'm sure you guys have similar, but Yes, because we live in the desert and it's just basically, you know, a, it's an oven. It's an oven all the time. Yeah. We have different, like sleeping rules in summer versus winter. Oh, you do?

Yeah. Like in summer, like we're like, we have separate blankets. Like we're not, we have separate blankets, we're not gonna share, we have separate blankets. Yeah. Which is not the case in winter, but in the summer it's like, Nope, don't touch me. It's too hot for that. Yeah, no, it's a thing. But to your point about.

Hermione and like, why did she find this enjoyable? Well, because [01:04:00] she was cold. I know she was freezing, so like that's, I don't think that was so much of like draco's particularly hot. Like he's just got like a normal body tempera temperature. He's got a normal body temperature and she's cold. Like, yeah.

This is my last point. This is my last dark mark. Okay. This is not a dark thought, just a dark mark. Have you ever been to England? No. Well, let me explain something to you about England. Tell me about it. If you visit there for seven days, there is literally no chance. It's not going to rain on you six and a half of those days.

It rains in England constantly. It does not rain in this book constantly. I actually searched the manuscript for the word rain and never, and it's, it's like 12 times. Okay. But Okay. But

to

your

point, yeah, it's not raining most of the time.

Yeah. Like when she's at Draco's mansion and I actually, I didn't bring it up, but I was thinking it right away.

I was like, [01:05:00] why isn't it raining there? Isn't this in England? Why isn't it raining there? And then it did rain when she went to his shack for the first time and I was like, there's the rain. Thank you. There it is. But there is not nearly enough rain. It's overcompensated however, with shower thoughts. Okay.

I find, please explain. Well, there's a lot of shower moments in this book. There's a lot of shower points. Well, so there's water she does coming down, but it's in the shower, not

from the sky. I mean, she does have a feeling that she needs to like cleanse herself of everything that's happening to her. So yeah, I would probably spend a lot of time in the shower too.

Yeah. Let's move on to, to be continued. This is the end. This is where I do my wild speculations. So, um. Where the fuck

is Dola Hoff? I know. We never actually meet him, even though he's the most like cruel, depraved person in the story, [01:06:00] we never actually meet him. I could not believe that I was not gonna meet this guy.

'cause yeah, he had such a profound impact on Hermione because she was basically cleaning up all of the mess that he created. Right. With all of his experiments. Yeah. But we

never actually meet him. Uh, so my second point, I had wild speculation. Well actually I did. It wasn't wild speculation at the time. I think it is stated in the first act that Draco kills Ginny.

And as you know, my wild speculation though was that she had a daughter. We learn in the second act that it's a son and then. I, I don't think that Draco kills her because the timeline doesn't make sense. 'cause she wasn't in like, initially the way that it's positioned is that she is in Sussex. Mm-hmm. And they're doing experiments on her.

Mm-hmm. And that she had gone crazy, but she was only there for like two and a half seconds. So there's no way they did all of these experiments and Draco goes and rescues her and then she comes back and she's, her brain is all mush. [01:07:00] She wasn't there long enough.

No.

They captured her and then done. Yeah.

So, uh, I now believe that probably they faked her death somehow and that she is still alive and well and gonna have Harry Potter's baby have a little, have a little hairy. It's, it's not a bad theory. Alright. That means I'm right. She always says that when I'm right. Okay. Uh, 0.3, here are the big looming questions in my mind.

So in act three, we are gonna come back to present day. And obviously the big thing is going to be how Draco and Harmani reconcile. All this shit. Oh my God. Yeah. And then, because Ginny is, like I said, I think probably gonna have Harry's baby. Uh, I also think it would be like, I, I like pushing the envelope, obviously on storylines and whatever, but I, I think for gi to [01:08:00] lose Harry's baby, for a writer who has just given birth to like, do that to a character I like, she would, I, I would be very surprised at Sunline U if, if she like made that literary decision after.

Birthing a child. Like I, I think that would be like, really? Yeah. That would be, that would be intense to me. I, I wouldn't think that that would happen. Yeah. But anyways, so she's probably gonna have a baby boy. So then the question is, what's her mind gonna have? I think she's gonna have a baby girl, because then this sets up the entire same dynamic essentially with the next generation of a Harry Potter son with a Hermione daughter and the whole thing.

So that's what I think is gonna happen. Um, however, I have more questions. So, uh, how does Hermione get her manels off? I think there's some indication of like how the death eaters are involved there, but I still don't totally understand it, so I wanna know that. I wanna know, um, how does Draco [01:09:00] unshackle himself from the dark Lord?

How does he remove his mm-hmm. Uh, dark mark and does he lose his arm? You would be

surprised if he lost his arm.

Yes. But there is, um, there's a lot of conversation about like his forearm in his hands, so I also feel like maybe that's like setting us up to be like, oh my God, isn't it terrible that he lost his arm?

So, I don't know. We'll see. That's, I mean, he's already ambidextrous,

so, right. So it's like, who needs your arm if

you're

ambidextrous? I mean, is it the whole,

is it the whole arm? It's, it's probably just a portion of the arm. I mean, people have been through worse, you know what I mean? People have been through worse war's, a bitch.

Okay. So if we are done, then I'm gonna do the thing that the people do. What we are doing is we post these videos on YouTube. Mm-hmm. So if you would like to see our, if you're currently listening to us and you would like to see our facial expressions, you can go to YouTube and always watch these there.

There's also a little [01:10:00] podcast. You can create a podcast on YouTube. So we did that. And then otherwise we're available wherever you get podcasts. Really. I mean, the big ones, apple, Spotify, come find us. We'd love to hang out. Yeah. But don't talk to us. Right? I mean, we're probably not gonna respond. We've had this conversation.

We're, but

we're, we are busy. Listen, we're fairly antisocial.

We're fairly antisocial, and we have gers. This is like a side project for us. We can't be, I mean, I don't know. You can communicate if you want, but. I don't have time. Where should people talk to you?

Since I'm cutting myself out of the, the conversation,

where should they talk to you? Um, I'm not the quickest to respond, but if you wanna come talk to me on either Instagram or YouTube, I'll be there. Okay. That sounds good. Uh, yes, but timely results should not be expected.

I think that sounds fair.

[01:11:00] Untimely is better than none at all, which is what I'm offering. So you have that going for us,

which is, which is nice. Yeah. Which is shocking to me because I think out of the two of us, you are actually, I mean, obviously far more outgoing than I am.

Oh. It's all an act.

I told you, natural occupancy over here, I just push away all of my introvertness and I pop out my extrovertness.

You have

to,

yeah.

Sometimes I feel my gregariousness.

Sometimes when I have to be social, I almost have to look at it like a job.

Yeah. Yeah. I a hundred percent have a job to do.

Yeah.

By talking to people and I can't always do it.

I need to protect my peace. Okay, so next time you see us, I will have finished this book, Lee and I will be in the same mental position of understanding what has all happened. So I'm very excited for this. We'll see you there. See you there. Okay. Bye. Bye.